By: Debbie Wilson

At the beginning of my senior year of high school, my parents let me drive our carpool to school. This was our first parent-free commute. My neighbor climbed into the passenger seat, and we set off.

As I turned the corner, my schoolbooks slid across the bench seat of our Oldsmobile into my friend. When I reached for them, I turned straight into a parked car. Besides the humiliation of damaging both my parents’ car and a stranger’s before even leaving the neighborhood, I slammed my lip against the steering wheel.

My dad called our family doctor to stitch it. The wound oozed clear fluid for more than twenty-four hours, and that weekend a swollen red lip accessorized the white tulle gown I wore to our senior ring dance.

Deep emotional wounds, like physical wounds, require care to heal properly. Forgiveness is one of God’s tools for cleansing those wounds. Yet deep wounds can continue to sting long after we’ve chosen to forgive. Sometimes they even require repeated attention.

Over and Over

In Big Hurt, Bigger God, I use the acronym FREEDOM to explore the blessings and challenges of forgiveness. The O stands for “over and over.”

“Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’

‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!'” (Matt. 18:21-22 NLT)

Peter was likely asking about repeated offenses. But some injuries, especially emotional ones, continue affecting us long after the original event. In those cases, forgiveness may need to be reaffirmed again and again.

Some wrongs can be forgiven and forgotten. Others leave lingering pain that resurfaces unexpectedly. When anger or hurt leaks out again, don’t condemn yourself. Healing often happens gradually. We keep emotional wounds clean by renewing our forgiveness whenever the pain returns.

A spouse’s betrayal, the lasting consequences of a drunk driver’s actions, or the loss of relationships due to slander may affect us for years. Some wounds simply take longer to heal.

Forgiveness Versus Healing

Just as physical wounds heal at different rates, emotional wounds do too. God brings healing, but we participate by practicing healthy spiritual habits. We reaffirm forgiveness and nourish our hearts with His promises.

How often do we do this? As often as bitterness or pain resurfaces.

When memories reopen old wounds, we once again place the offender and the situation in God’s hands. Each time, we trust His promise to redeem even painful experiences for our eternal good.

Forgiving over and over is not a sign of failure. It’s evidence that God is still at work.

Over time, scars that once reminded us of pain can become reminders of His grace.

Adapted from Big Hurt, Bigger God by Debbie W. Wilson.

We are  thrilled to have Debbie Joining us for the October Luncheon!