“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord… help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.” Philippians 4:2-3 (NIV) emphasis mine
How embarrassing would it be to have an argument with another sister in Christ recorded in the Bible? Your names recorded, not for the service selflessly offered, but rather for your unwillingness to get along and live at peace with each other.
Philippians 4 describes just that. It records a dispute between two women in the church. The specifics are unknown, but whatever the dispute was about, it affected the entire church and created tension. In fact, their disagreement caused such a stir that Paul, who was sitting in a Roman jail, heard about it.
Disagreements are a reality of life. All too often, we get offended, angry, or our feelings hurt. We hold grudges. We get in a huff and gossip, sometimes even disguising it as a prayer request. Soon, we’ve formed an alliance of us versus them.
Personally, I despise conflict and avoid it at all cost. But never confronting difficult issues for the sake of ‘peace’ is not healthy either. There are times we need to nudge ourselves, to gently have uncomfortable conversations. I’m learning this principle and am getting better.
Yet, we never want our conflict to get to the point where tension is created far and wide because of our unwillingness to be at peace with others.
Below are seven tips that I have found to be helpful when in disagreement with another believer.
- Ask yourself: is the disagreement over trivial matters or doctrinal/gospel issues? Be aware that insignificant things can often be blown out of proportion.
- Never compromise for the sake of ‘peace’ when it’s a gospel issue. Always stand with the Lord no matter how hard.
- Make sure you are spending time with the Lord and in tune to His Spirit’s leading. Ask Him to search your heart. What is your responsibility? What could you have done differently?
- Connect one-on-one with the other person once emotions have settled. Do not put it off. Delay often allows a conflict to fester and makes it worse. The sooner you address the issue the better.
- Spend time in prayer prior to your meeting. Pray for humility, calm hearts and words. Pray for God to direct the conversation.
- Be the mature believer. Take the high road. If all else fails, agree to disagree.
- Keep an eternal perspective. Your name and her name are written in the book of life. You will be with this gal for eternity.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 (NIV)
A PRAYER-DRIVEN LIFE
Learning to Pray Proactively
THURSDAY, APRIL 22ND
12:00-12:45PM | ZOOM
LED BY TARA FURMAN AND MELISSA BELL
